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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24935317">Sometimes a Family is a Couple and Their Best Friend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia'>DianaandAlicia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brain Damage, Everyone else in the main cast after 6x13 are in this too, F/M, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, tw abusive language, tw depression, tw emotional abuse, tw non-consensual drug use, tw non-consensual medical experimentation, tw suicidal ideation, tw suicidal thoughts and actions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:55:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24935317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after the Primes are taken care of, there are still lasting effects that change relationships between the group.</p>
<p>Or</p>
<p>Clarke suffers brain damage after Josephine is removed from her head, and Murphy and Emori step up to take care of her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarke Griffin &amp; Emori, Clarke Griffin &amp; John Murphy, Emori/John Murphy (The 100)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi y'all! First off, I wanted to start by saying that this idea came to me recently because I've been rewatching the series from the start with my brother. We're all caught up now but when we were watching season 6, something stuck out at me. While Josephine was sharing Clarke's mind space with her, she kept talking about how the longer the two shared a mind, the more deteriorated Clarke's brain would be, eventually leading to her death. In 6x10 before Bellamy, Octavia, and Gabriel save her, Clarke's in rough shape and after half a season of pushing the idea of brain deterioration, I found it very odd that Clarke came out of it unscathed. </p>
<p>I wanted to put it out there that I am not a doctor or a medical professional at all so if something doesn't add up on that front, well I guess that's too bad. This is just a fun little idea I had of Murphy, Emori, and Clarke bonding as a family so I'm not going to be doing extensive research. Also this first chapter might seem heavy on backstory with less feelings or plot to it, but I just wanted to set the stage and it'll be different in later chapters. </p>
<p>I hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emori reached out in bed, trying to feel for John, opening her eyes when her hand touched his spot and the area was cold. She sat up in bed and saw that it was still dark outside, a few hours until dawn. Glancing over to the en suite, she saw that the light wasn’t on under the door so he wasn’t in the bathroom. </p>
<p>Curious, Emori got up and walked downstairs to the living room and smiled when she walked in and saw John sitting on the couch with Clarke curled up next to him. She had tear tracks on her face and Emori could guess that something had upset Clarke and John had woken up to take care of her. </p>
<p>“Hey. Is everything ok?” She asked, when both John and Clarke looked at her. </p>
<p>“Ehh.” Clarke whined, untangling from John and reaching out to Emori. </p>
<p>“Hi Sweetie.” Emori whispered, sitting down next to Clarke and pulling her into a hug. </p>
<p>It’s been two years since Gabriel was able to remove Josephine’s mind drive from Clarke’s head and bring her back. Unfortunately, after taking her to Jackson for a brain scan, it was revealed that the prolonged presence of Josephine’s mind in Clarke’s brain was disastrous, with Clarke suffering very severe brain damage. She could no longer care for herself or function like she used to before Russell tried to kill her.  </p>
<p>For murdering Abby and attempting to murder Clarke, all of the Primes were executed as a punishment, with all of the mind drives destroyed to make sure that nobody was coming back. The people of Sanctum and the Children of Gabriel shared the first compound, creating a society that benefited all that lived there. A second compound was built, where Wonkru and the Eligius prisoners lived, and a small neighborhood was also constructed by the farm house, where all of their friends lived. </p>
<p>Murphy and Emori stayed in the farm house, since it’d be a waste to abandon such a lovely home, and Murphy, feeling incredibly guilty over what happened to Abby, insisted that he and Emori be the ones to take care of Clarke. </p>
<p>Due to her brain damage, Clarke could no longer take care of herself. She definitely could no longer live alone, and during her waking hours, she needed someone by her at all times to help her with anything that she needed. </p>
<p>She couldn’t talk anymore, making various sounds to get people’s attention, and Murphy and Emori made the discovery that giving Clarke choices and letting her point to what she wanted worked better than guessing what her various noises meant. The only two noises they for sure knew the meanings to were ‘Ehh’ and ‘Muh’ which were the names she called them. </p>
<p>Luckily, the language disconnect was only one sided. Clarke seemed to understand both English and Trig in somewhat the same capacity that she did before she was body snatched, so there was no need to dumb things down for her or talk to her like she was a child. All Murphy and Emori really had to do was give Clarke choices when asking her questions and be patient enough to wait for Clarke to answer them on her own terms. Sometimes she’d take longer than usual to answer them, but no matter how long it took, the two never wavered with their love and understanding. </p>
<p>“I can’t get her to stop crying.” Murphy said quietly, and Emori could feel Clarke tremble as she clung to her. </p>
<p>“Did she have a bad dream?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know. I woke up and something just felt wrong so I went to her room to check on her and she was sitting up in bed crying. I figured some cuddles wouldn’t hurt the situation so I brought her down here, but no matter what I do, she won’t stop.” </p>
<p>“Clarke, Sweetie, can you look at me?” Emori asked, smiling when Clarke shifted backwards to look at her friend. “Good job Clarke. Are you crying because you have a headache? Yes or no?” She asked, holding out her right hand for yes and her left for no. This was their system when asking Clarke a question. Right was always yes and left was always no. Clarke would then point at whatever hand her answer was and Murphy and Emori would take it from there. They couldn’t use head nodding or shaking because Clarke sometimes mixed the gestures up, and if she was having a headache or migraine, the sudden movement could cause her motion sickness. </p>
<p>When Clarke pointed at Emori’s right hand, she exchanged a look with Murphy. Because of the trauma her brain went through, two long lasting side effects that Clarke suffered from were headaches and migraines. Headache days were bad for the family, and migraine days were worse. </p>
<p>“Alright Clarke, is it a migraine, yes or no?” </p>
<p>Clarke again pointed at Emori’s right hand and the other woman sighed while getting up. “John, take her up to our room, I’ll be up in a moment.” She instructed, going to the kitchen to get Clarke some water and pain medicine. Now that they knew what was wrong, they could take care of it and hopefully help Clarke feel better. </p>
<p>As she was getting the medicine out of the cabinet, she heard Clarke gag from the other room, followed by Murphy cursing. </p>
<p>“Son of a fucking………No Baby. Not at you. Never at you.” He said after Clarke whimpered, and Emori knew that he was reassuring Clarke that his anger and cursing were not directed at her. </p>
<p>“Is everything ok in there?” She called, filling a sippy cup with water. </p>
<p>“Emmy, she threw up. I’m gonna take her upstairs. The floor’s been hit.” </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I got it. Take care of Clarke.” </p>
<p>After cleaning up the floor, Emori went upstairs and brought Clarke’s water and pain medicine to the master bedroom. Now that they knew this migraine was causing nausea, she didn’t want Clarke sleeping alone in her room. </p>
<p>Murphy was in the en suite, while Clarke was curled up on the bed, face against her pillow, belly down. </p>
<p>“Clarke, can you sit up for me?” She asked gently, dimming the lights in the room so Clarke wouldn’t be as bothered. Bright lights made her migraines worse so the blonde was probably hiding against her pillow to spare her eyes the pain. </p>
<p>“Mmphh” Clarke mumbled into the pillow, a familiar noise that told Emori that she didn’t want to sit up. </p>
<p>“I know, Sweetie. It doesn’t feel good. But you need medicine.” Emori reasoned, rubbing Clarke’s back. </p>
<p>Hearing the word medicine, Clarke rolled over and sat up, holding out her hand. Emori placed two pills in her palm and handed Clarke the sippy cup of water. Clarke downed the pills immediately and drank half of the water before handing her cup back to Emori and rolling onto her stomach again. </p>
<p>“If you want your water throughout the night, let me know.” She said, placing the cup on the nightstand table. Another problem that Josephine caused was that her presence damaged the part of Clarke’s brain that contributed to her hand eye coordination. Clarke couldn’t use regular glasses or cups anymore, making a mess and spilling everywhere. They also became a safety hazard when she dropped a glass and later in the day broken shards cut her hand when she crawled in the kitchen, hidden under the chairs by the counter. Even if they were seen as dishes made for children, Murphy and Emori had to utilize plastic bowls, and plates, along with sippy cups, to make sure Clarke was safe while eating. </p>
<p>Along with not being able to talk, or have proper hand eye coordination, Clarke also wasn’t able to walk or stand for long periods of time. She could only take at most five steps before stumbling and falling and pulling herself into a standing position was often too tiring for her. In order to move around the house, she either crawled or scooted around on her butt with Murphy carrying her as a last resort. Raven had built a wheelchair for when Clarke went out in public, but her most used modes of transportation were scooting or crawling. Because of her mobility issues, it was rare for Clarke to be alone during her waking hours. The only time she was always guaranteed to be alone was when she had to go to the bathroom, with Murphy or Emori leaving the room once she was situated, to give her some privacy while she went about her business. Other than that, though, one of them had to be with Clarke at all times from the moment she woke up until the moment she went to bed. </p>
<p>“Here, this might help.” Murphy said, appearing from the bathroom with a cool damp washcloth folded in half. He placed it on the back of Clarke’s neck and smiled when the blonde relaxed against the pillow, her tense, hunched form disappearing. </p>
<p>“That’s it. Try and sleep.” Murphy said gently, pulling the covers up around Clarke. “You too. You have work in a few hours.” He said to Emori, who shook her head. </p>
<p>“It’s Saturday. Raven only needs me for four hours. I’ll be fine.” </p>
<p>“You won’t be any help to Raven if you’re sleep deprived. You have to wake up in like four hours anyway. If Clarke needs someone, I’ll help her.” Murphy insisted, giving Emori a knowing look. “Some sleep is better than no sleep.” </p>
<p>“Fine, but when I get home for lunch, I’ll take Clarke for the day.” She said, getting into bed and rolling on her side to prevent Murphy from arguing. Murphy smiled and got into bed too, happy that there was plenty of room despite Clarke being sandwiched between them. </p>
<p>“John?” </p>
<p>“Yeah?” </p>
<p>“I wish we could see if she knew how much we love her. With this second chance, I don’t want her to feel how I did growing up. I just don’t know if I’m doing it right. I never grew up around enough people to know how to take care of someone, how to do it right.” </p>
<p>“Emori. You’re doing a wonderful job. I mean, you haven’t killed Clarke yet.” Murphy joked, and he could hear her laugh. “Besides, everything you’ve done for her is already a million times better than what your parents did for you. The fact that you love and care for Clarke no matter what shows that you’re doing something right.” </p>
<p>“Thanks.” Emori said after a few moments of silence. </p>
<p>“For what?” </p>
<p>“For knowing the right things to say.” She finished, before going silent, listening to Clarke’s breathing. She was happy that Clarke wasn’t aware of the conversation, the pain medicine Jackson gave them for her migraines tended to knock her out quickly. </p>
<p>“No problem, and remember, Clarke is a team effort. You can come to me if something is bothering you.” </p>
<p>“I know. I just worry about her.”  </p>
<p>“I do too, but we must be doing something right because she’s been living with us for two years and she’s finally happy. Now you should go to bed, or Raven will be pissed if you can’t help with coding tomorrow.” Murphy added, before Emori nodded in agreement and eventually fell asleep. He stayed up a little while longer to watch out for Clarke, but eventually he fell asleep, happy to have both of his girls by his side. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When something happens to Clarke, Murphy gets overprotective.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi y'all! I don't know about you guys but I'm really liking how this season is giving us a lot of overprotective Murphy, especially with the kids. Of course I wanted to take advantage of that characterization.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was almost lunch time a few days later at the compound, and Murphy was in the kitchen, making lunch. </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> was at work, in the machine shop with Raven, and she was due to come home soon for her hour-long lunch break. Today, Clarke accompanied </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> to the shop, because Murphy had wanted to vacuum and mop the floors without her getting in the way. Besides, Raven said it was ok and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> brought a pad of paper and pens to keep Clarke occupied.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>While she had troubles with most things now, one thing that didn’t change was Clarke’s ability to draw. She wasn’t at the same level as before she was body snatched because her hand eye coordination suffered, but she was still better than the majority of the compound inhabitants combined, and no matter what her art looked like the most important part was that she still really seemed to enjoy creating something.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Murphy strained the noodles and put the finishing touches on the pasta sauce, </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> came through the door, pushing Clarke in her wheelchair.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, how was </span>
  <span>wor</span>
  <span>—.” He started, before turning and looking at the two.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was sitting in her wheelchair, crying so hard she wasn’t making a sound, and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> looked like she wanted to snap someone’s neck. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something was wrong.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell happened? Why is she crying?” Murphy asked, rushing over and unbuckling Clarke from the restraints that kept her safely in her chair.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>C’mere</span>
  <span> Baby.” He added, helping Clarke out of her chair and hoisting her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Clarke didn’t respond, she only buried her face against Murphy’s neck and cried harder.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Raven happened.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said, pushing the wheelchair over to the corner so it wouldn’t be in the way.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Some of the workers were moving something close to the shop and something fell over and made a loud bang. Clarke got startled and lost grip of her pen. It rolled over behind the computer station and since Raven and I were working on coding, I don’t think she wanted to bother us. She crawled over to get it but once she got it and was about to go back over to her drawing pad, her foot got caught on the cords and she unplugged the computer. We lost only a little bit of code, since we saved our work relatively close before, but Raven went nuts. Screamed at Clarke, told her to get the fuck out of the shop and told me to never bring her over again.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What else did she say? I know you. That’s not why you look like you want to murder someone.” Murphy said, knowing </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> well.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John, she said, ‘Even without all of her braincells, it appears </span>
  <span>Wanheda</span>
  <span> still knows how to destroy everything she touches.’ Then she implied that it would have been better for our society as a whole if Josephine would have won over Clarke’s brain and we would have been able to execute her without feeling guilty.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything else?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, one last thing. She said that maybe it’d be best for Clarke if we ‘showed her some discipline when she fucks up.’ That we ‘shouldn’t be afraid to slap her around a little.’ After she said that, I took Clarke and got out of there.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Show her some discipline? Clarke isn’t our child; she is our friend. Who the fuck does she think she is?” Murphy shouted, carrying Clarke to the dining table. “And like hell we’d hit Clarke. Not with how we grew up.” He said, referencing his abusive mother and </span>
  <span>Emori’s</span>
  <span> abusers that she had to scavenge for as a child.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, that’s why I took Clarke out of there. I didn’t want her to think we’d hurt her.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Raven should be showing Clarke some fucking respect!” Murphy roared, seeing red. “If it wasn’t for Clarke at the drop ship, Mount Weather, the City of Light, </span>
  <span>Praimfaya</span>
  <span>, we’d all be dead right now! Raven would be dead right now! If anyone deserves God status on this fucking planet, it’d be Clarke for all the shit that she’s done for us!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said softly, interrupting her boyfriend’s tangent.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re scaring someone.” She said in the same gentle tone, gesturing behind him.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned around and saw Clarke staring at him, her eyes as big as dinner plates. They were filled with tears and he could tell that she was extremely stressed out by the situation. Him screaming his head off probably was making it worse.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Honey, I’m sorry.” He said softly, going over and sitting in the chair next to Clarke. “I’m not going to lie to you, but I’m very angry right now. I want you to know though, that none of this anger is at you. You deserve to be respected and it is incredibly unfair of Raven to blow up at you when you can’t even defend yourself. Especially over a little mistake. I am very sorry that this happened to you.” He finished, before giving Clarke a hug.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the hug broke, he kissed Clarke’s forehead and decided to change the subject. “How about I get you some lunch. I made pasta!” He </span>
  <span>fake</span>
  <span> cheered, before going over and putting some noodles on Clarke’s plate.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Clarke had her plate, Murphy hugged </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and whispered in her ear.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead and eat lunch. I’m going to go talk to Raven.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. John, that’ll only make it worse. Please don’t.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span>, she doesn’t get to treat Clarke like garbage and then have no consequences for it. If we do nothing in response, Raven will think that it’s acceptable for Clarke to be treated like this. She’ll keep making her snide little remarks and it’s worse now, because before, Clarke could actually say something snappy back. Now she can’t even talk.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Muh!” Clarke said, causing both to look at her. They could see from the look on her face, that she didn’t want Murphy going anywhere, that she wanted him to stay.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s ask her. Whatever Clarke wants, we’ll go along with.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> suggested, not wanting to confront Raven if it’d make Clarke uncomfortable.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, do you want us to talk to Raven about how she treated you? Yes or no.” Murphy asked, holding out his hands. It took almost a minute, but after seeing Clarke consider both options in her head, she slowly pointed at Murphy’s left hand, the signal for no. She then looked down at her plate, as if she was avoiding their eyes, not wanting to see their disappointment. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s ok Clarke. Whatever’s easiest for you.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said gently, before going to get some lunch.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And Clarke, you know that Raven’s opinions are not valid in this house. What she thinks and feels doesn’t matter.” Murphy said, wanting to make sure that Clarke knew that their home was always going to be a safe and accepting place for her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke didn’t react to what Murphy said, and instead started to shove noodles in her mouth, still not looking at either of them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s just eat.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said, going into the kitchen to get a plate. “Then we’ll spend the day here and relax.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about work?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John, I’m not stepping into that workshop until Raven apologizes to Clarke and really means it. Until then, she can either do the coding herself or find someone else.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if she never apologizes? What’ll you do then?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, since Bellamy, Echo, and Indra have it written into the community charter that at in a household with two or more adults, at least one has to contribute to the well-being of the compound, I’ll go to them and ask where I could be reassigned. It might take a few weeks of training but I can adapt John. I’ve done many jobs to survive before I even met you. I can find other work.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should we switch it up? Do you want me to get a job and you stay home with Clarke? I mean, my job’s been stay at home with Clarke since we started taking care of her, and we can switch off if you want.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The harvest festival starts in two days, right?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah Friday afternoon until Sunday evening. Why?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll wait until then to talk to Bellamy. Since we’re taking Clarke to the festival, we can give Raven a chance to apologize. If she doesn’t make the effort by the festival’s end, I’ll ask Bellamy for a reassignment, or I’ll stay home with Clarke and you get a job. We have a few days to decide.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope for Raven’s sake, she apologizes.” Murphy said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because on the ring, other than Monty, you were the only one able to help Raven with coding and other technical stuff. Monty’s been dead for like seventy years and unless there’s someone with a secret talent for coding among the Eligius crew, she’ll have to do it all on her own if you get a reassignment.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you saying I should reconsider?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, not at all. Raven doesn’t get to insult Clarke. Nobody does. Maybe this will teach her that her actions do have consequences, even though in the past they never seemed to.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> nodded and walked back to the table, plate in hand. Murphy joined them soon after and the little family stayed quiet as they ate lunch. When they finished eating, the stress of the day caused Clarke to develop another migraine, so </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> medicated her and put her to bed in her pitch-black bedroom, away from irritants that could make her migraine worse. Since she decided against going back to work, </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> utilized her afternoon free time to clean up around the house, and give Murphy space so he could get to work and start making his potato salad for the harvest festival. He was going to make a bunch, and needed as much uninterrupted time to make it in the next two days. Maybe Raven’s meltdown at Clarke happened at a good time after all.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> certainly felt that way. She rarely got to spend time with Clarke, especially compared to how much time Murphy spent with her. Plus, since she wasn’t going back to work, she could take care of Clarke and keep the stress off of Murphy and keep him free to cook.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was excited about the harvest festival. She’d get to see her friends, she and Murphy would get to have some family fun with Clarke, and they could celebrate another successful harvest with their community. On the Ring, Murphy had taught </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and Echo about things called county fairs before the first apocalypse, and with the harvest festival, it would be as close to a fair the compound would get. Luckily, all the members from Eligius backed these claims up and the one from the year prior was a lot of fun. It would be a good time for all of them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Plus, </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> was excited to taste Murphy’s potato salad.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter will be the harvest festival! I'm really excited for you to read it, because it will give a better look at the dynamics between Clarke and the others living on Sanctum. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you then!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke doesn't have a good time at the Harvest Festival.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! I'm sorry this chapter took so long, but it's very long in comparison to the first two. Also, I just wanted to warn you that the next few chapters will be angsty just like this one is. There will be some topics explored in the next three chapters that may be triggering for some, so I will be including trigger warnings before each chapter, and I will update tags upon completion of new updates.</p>
<p>For this chapter 3, the trigger warnings are emotional abuse and suicidal ideation.</p>
<p>I do also apologize if this chapter seems to have a lot of backstory, but I felt that I needed to explain a lot of what was going on with Clarke and her relationships with others in the two years since Josephine's removal.</p>
<p>One last plot point to explain, because season 7 doesn't happen in this story, we're just going to pretend that in season six when Octavia ran out of the anomaly, Diyoza and 20 year old Hope ran out with her.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Good morning Clarke! It’s Harvest Festival day!” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> cheered as she came into Clarke’s bedroom on Saturday morning to get her ready. While the festival had officially started the night before, this day would be when the most fun was had.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Ehhhh</span>
  <span>.” Clarke groaned, turning over in bed, as if she was asking for five more minutes.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s time to get up Clarke. John’s downstairs making breakfast and then it’s a full day of fun!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke internally sighed, not wanting to ruin </span>
  <span>Emori’s</span>
  <span> fun. She knew that she and Murphy were excited for the festival, but she couldn’t say the same. She still felt bad after the altercation with Raven, and the other woman wasn’t even sorry. She got angry with </span>
  <span>Emori’s</span>
  <span> boycott, and hired Jordan permanently instead of apologizing and letting her come back.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Plus, she hated these public activities. She was often left out of the fun and her relationships with all of her friends were extremely different compared to before she was body snatched. There were some people she was excited to see, but for the most part she’d rather stay home.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, which one?” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> asked, going over to Clarke’s closet. She held up two options of outfits for her to wear, with one being a light blue sundress and the other being a pair of blue and orange running shorts with a matching blue tank top.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s already 85 degrees today, and it’ll only get warmer, if that makes any difference.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> added, wanting Clarke to be as comfortable as possible.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke pointed at the sundress, since it’d be cooler to wear and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> took the dress off its hanger before putting the other outfit and the empty hanger away.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright Clarke, up we go!” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said as she helped her out of bed and on to the floor. Once Clarke was situated, she started to crawl, straight down the hall to the bathroom.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, I’ll be back in ten minutes. That’ll be enough time for you to go about your business and I can get everything ready. Do not move from this toilet. I’ll help you.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> reminded, pulling Clarke’s pants down and sitting her on the toilet.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke gave a very small smile, to tell </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> that she understood, and her friend left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and going down the hall.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Josephine’s removal, modesty wasn’t really a thing anymore in regards to Clarke. Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> had to help her get dressed, help her with her bathroom stuff and help bathe her every night.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the beginning, it had mortified Clarke, the first time Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> saw her naked. They were her friends, and it made her feel extremely self-conscious, though they were nothing but understanding. Murphy even averted his eyes out of respect, never looking below Clarke’s belly button if she wasn’t wearing pants. The first two weeks were especially bad, since Clarke was extremely weak and still getting used to her lack of mobility and speech. She also had PTSD in regards to her mobility, and even bit Murphy when he tried to bathe her. </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> had to help Raven with some coding and was late with getting home, and Murphy had to practically force Clarke into the bathtub, because it had been four days since her release from the medical center and she needed to be cleaned. The last thing Clarke remembered before being body snatched was being paralyzed and then killed, without getting a chance to say goodbye to her loved ones, and being stripped naked and put into a small space by Murphy when she could barely move or communicate had triggered her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, two years later, things were much different. Clarke was able to bathe herself, only needing </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> or Murphy to help her with her hair, and she was able to clean herself after going to the bathroom too. She could brush her teeth and dress herself for the most part, only needing help with certain outfits, and with time she was also more comfortable around the two. Plus, Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> stressed that Clarke still had bodily autonomy, and if she was ever uncomfortable with something, they’d respect what she felt was best for her well-being in the moment. They also promised to never sexualize her or be inappropriate with her, though she always knew that Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> would never do anything to violate her body. They would never take advantage of her limited mobility and speech. They loved and cared about her too much to ever take advantage of her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Clarke finished, she sat and waited for </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> to come back and she did a few minutes later.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All done?” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> asked, knowing that Clarke already wiped and flushed. She only made the rule that kept Clarke sitting, because she didn’t want her to fall after taking one too many steps. Her record was six steps in a row before falling on her butt, and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> didn’t want Clarke to get up and wash her hands only to fall and hurt herself because her body decided to not cooperate.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>After Clarke washed her hands, she scooted from the bathroom back to the bedroom, so she could get dressed and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> could do her hair.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Clarke was all ready for the day, the two went downstairs, where Murphy had breakfast waiting.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke looked at the table and smiled a big toothy grin when Murphy sat her in her chair, seeing fluffy scrambled eggs, crisp bacon and a fruity desert that Murphy had nicknamed ‘Baby Apple Pies’. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“John you spoil us.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> said, putting some food on Clarke’s plate.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s festival day, might as well start the day out right. Isn’t that right Clarke?” Murphy asked, and Clarke smiled as she bit off a piece of bacon.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See? If you two are happy, I’m happy. Clarke’s happy, are you?” He joked and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> playfully shoved him slightly as she brought Clarke some milk.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Of course</span>
  <span> I am. You’re the best cook in our community and we get you all to ourselves.” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> gushed, kissing John on the cheek.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>After the three ate breakfast and finished getting ready, Murphy helped Clarke into her wheelchair and they were off to the festival to see their friends.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they arrived at the massive field where everything was set up, Murphy steered Clarke’s wheelchair over to where Octavia and </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> had set up a picnic area for their friend group during the day.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“CLARKE!” Hope yelled, running over to meet them and giving Clarke a hug.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Hope. How are things with you?” Murphy asked, while she gave him and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> both hugs.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. School’s a little boring but Mom says I only have a year left.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah……I hear </span>
  <span>ya</span>
  <span> kid.” Murphy agreed, remembering how boring school was on the Ark.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Besides, I’m 22. Most of the kids are like a decade younger than me so it’s harder to relate at times.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Since Hope lived on Sky Ring for ten years without her mother and Octavia, her traditional school lessons ended when she was ten years old. Because of this, </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> had Hope go to school with Madi and the other children of Sanctum, so she could get an education higher than what </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> would have known as fourth or fifth grade. She did agree however, that Hope couldn’t spend her entire twenties in school, so it was agreed that by Hope’s twenty third birthday, she wouldn’t have to go anymore.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>By this time, both </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> and Octavia had come over to greet them, giving them both hugs. It was rare that both were out in the compound and actively participating in the festival events, but they were doing it for Hope, and not themselves.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the compound was being planned, Bellamy, Indra, and Echo all agreed to pardon Octavia and </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span>, especially since it was important for Hope to not be excluded from the compound because of the people who raised her. Many from </span>
  <span>Wonkru</span>
  <span> and Eligius disagreed with the decision, but once the three leaders decided, there wasn’t much to do about it. Since they weren’t entirely welcome by all in the compound, Octavia and </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> lived in a little cabin in the far corner of the neighborhood, and pretty much stayed to themselves for the most part.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though they weren’t as active in the community, Octavia and </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> were two of the few people in the compound that still treated Clarke like they did before she was body snatched. Hope treated Clarke respectfully too, though it did take some adjusting, since she had only heard stories of Clarke, and because of Josephine, Clarke was entirely different when she first met her. Nevertheless, she treated Clarke like how Octavia and her mother treated her, and Clarke was grateful.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Other than the Blake-</span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span> family, and of course Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span>, only Bellamy, Echo, and Indra treated Clarke like they did before Josephine. Everyone else, like </span>
  <span>Niylah</span>
  <span>, Gaia, Miller, Jackson, and Jordan, were indifferent to Clarke. Ever since the brain scan revealed that Clarke would no longer be useful to help with the compound and no longer be able to lead with Bellamy, the majority of the compound residents were polite to Clarke and said hello and goodbye to her whenever they saw her, but they never actively initiated conversation with her. Jackson only treated her as his patient, and it was as if she wasn’t the daughter of his late best friend. All in all, it seemed like the majority of the compound felt that Clarke not being able to function like she used to </span>
  <span>meant</span>
  <span> that she wasn’t worth the time of day to them anymore.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The altercation with Raven showed that the mechanic hated her, but as far as they knew, Raven was the only one that had ill feelings towards her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The six sat and talked for a while, with Hope telling Clarke about school. The blonde had been taken out of her wheel chair and the two were sitting in the shade under one of the trees. By this time, every one of their friends had arrived and they were all able to converse with each other.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gaia was the last to arrive, with Madi. Once it was clear that Clarke could no longer take care of herself, Madi was put into Gaia’s custody and has been living with her for the past two years. Clarke still saw Madi as her daughter and loved her as such, but the younger girl became distant, as if she didn’t want people knowing that someone as incapable as Clarke once raised her. Madi was embarrassed of her, and didn’t take into consideration that her pretending Clarke wasn’t there hurt the older woman.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi everyone!” Gaia said cheerfully, waving at Clarke. Clarke waved back and Madi came over.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hope, do you </span>
  <span>wanna</span>
  <span> go play soccer?” She asked, interrupting the conversation Hope was having with Clarke. The twenty-two-year-old looked at Clarke and the blonde waved her hand, letting her know that it was ok to go if she wanted to.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom can I go play soccer with Madi?” She asked </span>
  <span>Diyoza</span>
  <span>, and her mother nodded.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s fine. Have fun Honey.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before the two could leave, Gaia stopped them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Madi.” She said firmly, looking at the now fourteen-year-old. “Don’t be rude. Say hi to Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh. Fine. Hi Clarke.” Madi said, in a completely lackluster tone. “There. I did it. Come on Hope.” She finished, running off with Hope before Gaia could say anything.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gaia shook her head in annoyance, not liking the attitude coming from the teen.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about </span>
  <span>it</span>
  <span> Gaia. That’s just how teenagers are.” Indra said, remembering Gaia’s early teen years well. The conversations went back to before, and Clarke just sat in her spot, feeling quite left out since she had no one to communicate with.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was a big reason why Clarke hated community functions like this. She never had any fun, and she always ended up feeling left out. Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> never noticed, because these functions were some of the only times that they could talk with all of their friends, and at the end of the functions she’d always lie and say she enjoyed herself so they wouldn’t feel bad.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, Echo noticed that Clarke was looking lonesome, so she got up and sat next to her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Clarke. How are you?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She then went on to tell Clarke about what went on during the week in the compound and the blonde listened intently. She loved Echo, and she knew that her friend truly cared about her </span>
  <span>well-being</span>
  <span>. If </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and Murphy hadn’t been so quick to take her in first after the brain scan, she knew for certain that Echo and Bellamy would be taking care of her, and they would do as good of a job as </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and Murphy. Echo and Bellamy were both very caring, and they treated Clarke like nothing drastic happened to her. The only downside to them taking care of her would be that Bellamy would probably worry and hover too much, always afraid for Clarke’s safety. She knew he meant well when he got overprotective, but in the end, it’d probably be a little much, especially in comparison to Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while, it was time to eat lunch and since Clarke didn’t really have anyone to communicate with, she started to crawl around after eating, in the grassy field behind where Octavia had set the picnic blanket up.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should she be doing that?” Bellamy asked, and Murphy glanced up.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s fine. She’s been sitting a lot and she needs to move her legs after a bit.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone continued to talk and Clarke started to feel lonely again. On one hand she hated being ignored and feeling left out, but on the other hand, she didn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun, especially </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and Murphy’s. If she refused to participate in community functions, one of them would have to stay home with her and take care of her. She really didn’t want to do that to them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, Clarke remembered what Raven had said a few days prior, about how it would have been better if she had lost against Josephine and would have gotten executed. As more time passed without Raven apologizing, she started to feel like the sentiment was true. She didn’t feel welcome, and at times like these, she wished she had ignored Monty and let Josephine take the memory without a fight. It would have been easier for her and everyone in the compound.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Clarke crawled around, she stopped behind some hedges when she heard </span>
  <span>Niylah</span>
  <span> and Raven talking in private, against one of the groundskeeper's buildings. She was out of sight, but could hear their conversation perfectly.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just feel bad for them. I mean, </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> told me a few weeks ago that she wanted to start having a real family with Murphy. She wants kids but Clarke is what’s standing in the way.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Couldn’t they have a baby and take care of Clarke at the same time?” </span>
  <span>Niylah</span>
  <span> asked, not always agreeing with Raven blaming everything on Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’d be too hard. Clarke is too worthless for her own good and just looking at her makes Murphy and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> feel guilty. They’d be too obligated to take care of her, they’d neglect their own baby. It wasn’t </span>
  <span>their</span>
  <span> faults that Russell killed Abby, but they feel that they need to take care of her anyway. In reality, they could just give her to Jackson and she could be a patient in the psychiatric ward of the medical center. Emori could get the family that she’s always wanted and not have to worry about Clarke burdening her and Murphy anymore.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that point, Clarke heard enough. She crawled away, to the edge of the compound, and crawled through the radiation fence. Like when she tried to save Shaw, the fence only stung slightly like a sunburn, and she was out of the compound. She crawled over to the other compound, and made her way to the palace area, going into the room where the pictures of all the Primes were located.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have let you win.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Clarke thought bitterly, looking at Josephine’s picture. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Then both of us would be dead and it wouldn’t matter anymore.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat in the room for a few hours, just staring at the pictures, hating Russell for all he did, hating Simone for stealing her mother’s body, hating Josephine for not putting up a stronger fight to beat her. The Lightbourne family tried to destroy Clarke’s life.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Clarke believes that it would have been better if they had.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was shaken from her thoughts when Murphy entered the room, sounding stressed and worried.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You scared all of us! Don’t ever go off by yourself like that ever again!” He scolded, sounding more like a distressed parent than her friend. Clarke’s face heated with a blush as Murphy picked her up and carried her back to their compound. “I know you’re still in there, I can’t believe you’d do something so dumb Clarke.” He finished, taking her to the farm house and putting her in her room. “If you wanted to leave the festival, you could have just told us!” Was the last thing he said before slamming the door shut, and going back to find the </span>
  <span>others.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke flinched at the door slam and crawled over to her bed, pulling herself up and burrowing under the blankets. She felt bad for ruining the festival and the fact that Murphy had shouted at her, when he’s never been mad at her post-Josephine startled her. It also didn’t do anything to keep her nerves away. She still had no idea how </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> was going to react.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knew the reaction wasn’t good when a few minutes later, she heard the front door open and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> and Murphy were arguing.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>They’re fighting because of what I did</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Clarke thought, sitting in bed miserably.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe Raven’s right. Maybe we’re stretching ourselves too thin with Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span>, I am not shoving Clarke into some psychiatric ward. She’d be miserable.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if we gave her to Jackson for like a week? I don’t want to give her up permanently, but we’ve been taking care of her for two years straight. Maybe we just need a vacation from Clarke for a little bit.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Murphy’s silence was very telling for Clarke, and she could sense that he was considering it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That campsite on the other end of Sanctum 1, we could go there for a week, just us, and not have to worry about Clarke being mistreated or neglected.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then wouldn’t it be better for her if Bellamy and Echo watched her? Why do we have to give her to Jackson?” Murphy argued.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bellamy and Echo are too busy running Sanctum 2. I know that they love her and would take good care of her, but she can’t be left alone for too long and they can’t take her with them when they work. It’d be best if she was stationary.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll go talk to Jackson. See if we can do something on Monday.” Murphy said finally, and Clarke heard the door open and shut again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was quiet in the house, and Clarke jumped when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, can I come in?” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> asked gently, and only after Clarke whimpered, she opened the door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, when we found out you were gone, it scared me half to death. And then to hear that you were in Sanctum 1, it’s not safe for you there.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke only shrugged and looked away, acting dismissive of the matter.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> raised her eyebrows at Clarke’s dismissive nature and came over to sit on the bed with her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, I know it sucks that your mobility and communication have been compromised, but there are still devout Prime believers in Sanctum 1. If one of those believers found you, they could kill you or harm you because they believe that you took Josephine from them. That one of their gods was back and you ruined it for them. There might only be a few of them in that compound but even one person can cause a lot of damage. Plus, you can’t talk and you can’t run away. If someone were to attack you, you’d be screwed. That’s why we were so worried.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke leaned in and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> hugged her once she finished, and after a moment, </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> stood up.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s something I’d like to talk to you about Clarke. John and I think it’d be beneficial for our relationship if we took a small vacation. We’d like to take a week just for ourselves and go camping. You’d stay at the medical center until we got back. Is that ok with you?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke took a deep breath before grabbing onto </span>
  <span>Emori’s</span>
  <span> right hand, the signal for yes. Even though she didn’t want them to leave her, she knew that she had contributed to much of the stress that they were going through, and she didn’t want to stand in their way. Everyone deserved a break every once in a while, and she remembered all the times on Earth when she wanted a break but couldn’t take one because there was no one to take care of Madi. She agreed with </span>
  <span>Emori’s</span>
  <span> reasoning. She just didn’t want to have to go through missing her and Murphy.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Clarke. I promise when we get back, we’ll spend the whole day with you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke smiled and </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> gave her another hug.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How about you lay down, and when John comes back, we can have some dinner?” </span>
  <span>Emori</span>
  <span> suggested, getting up and helping Clarke under the covers</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll see you in a bit.” She said, leaving Clarke’s room and shutting the door behind her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke turned over in bed, hoping this next week away from her friends would go by as quickly as possible.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! The next chapter will look into Clarke's first day at the medical center with Jackson.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Clarke's first day at the medical center doesn't go as planned.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! Here's Chapter 4!</p><p>A few notes before we begin:</p><p>The trigger warnings for this chapter are non-consensual medical experimentation, non-consensual drug use and the mention of suicidal thoughts and actions.</p><p>Also, another note, I do mention prescription costs from before apocalypse one in this story and my American readers already probably know this, but for anyone who doesn't live in the US and doesn't know, our healthcare system isn't the best. Without insurance many pharmaceutical companies jack up the price of prescriptions and many people have a hard time. (I'm one who experiences this, without insurance one of my prescriptions is almost $650 a bottle). So I just wanted to address this here in case anyone didn't know.</p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On Monday morning, Emori gently woke Clarke up early and helped her get ready to go to the medical center. Murphy made breakfast and at 8:00 they took Clarke to the medical center to drop her off with Jackson. </p><p>Jackson took all three of them to the room that Clarke would be sleeping in for the week, so they could put her bag away and say goodbye. </p><p>“Alright. We’ll be back in a week. If you need us, let Jackson know and we’ll come back. I promise.” Murphy said to Clarke, pulling her into a hug and kissing her temple. </p><p>Emori then scooped Clarke up in a hug and rocked her from side to side slightly. “Bye Honey. I’ll miss you.” She said, before breaking the hug and kissing her cheek. </p><p>After their goodbyes were said, Jackson showed them out, and when he returned, he had Natalie, one of the nurses from the Eligius team with him. </p><p>The Eligius team had some members in their group who had practiced medicine before apocalypse one, so they worked in the medical center with Jackson. </p><p>Natalie was very nice and Clarke liked her a lot. She was the nurse that always took care of Clarke during appointments and checkups, so Clarke felt comfortable around her. Even though she was technically a terrorist and was seen as one before going to space with the Eligius prisoners, Clarke could understand why she partook in the actions that she did. </p><p>In the time before ALIE set the bombs off, Natalie was a nurse. The economy wasn’t the best and she had a young daughter who needed Insulin. Long story short, she shot up a pharmacy when trying to rob it.  </p><p>Clarke obviously didn’t condone a mass shooting, but she did understand what it was like to be willing to do anything to keep her child alive and safe. Even if Madi didn’t see her as her mom anymore, Clarke still saw her as her daughter, and she couldn’t say she wouldn’t have done something similar if she had been in Natalie’s situation. She felt bad for Natalie, that she felt that she had to go to such extremes to get what she needed and in the end her daughter died in the bombs anyway. </p><p>“Clarke, Natalie is going to help you out of your wheelchair and onto the bed. It’s been a few months so I’m going to take some blood and I’ll give you a checkup, just to see how you’re doing.” He explained, and Clarke smiled, knowing that her bi-yearly exam was coming up anyway. Better to get it done sooner rather than later. </p><p>Jackson took some blood and after giving the vials to Natalie, took out his stethoscope and started the exam. </p><p>“Everything looks good Clarke.” He said, upon finishing. “The results from your blood work should be back by the time John and Emori get back, and we’ll be able to update them with the results. There’s only one more thing to do and that’s giving you a flu shot. They’re all ready for this year and we won’t have to make an extra appointment just for this.” </p><p>Clarke smiled at Jackson again and once he administered the vaccine, she sat and waited. She was in the psychiatric ward, and she knew that there was a common room where she could draw or play games with Natalie. Jackson had told Emori and Murphy that she’d be able to do a lot of productive stuff during the week they were gone. </p><p>Because of these expectations, Clarke was extremely surprised when she saw Jackson come back with a different medical cart, filled with various instruments and what looked like drugs. </p><p>Clarke whimpered and cocked her head to the side, looking at Jackson with confusion. </p><p>“Clarke, I was thinking that we could use this week to try and look for a treatment that can possibly stimulate your brain and maybe help you regain your control on how to talk. Wouldn’t it be a nice surprise for Emori and John to come back and hear you talking again?” </p><p>Clarke shrugged, extremely unsure about this. Even though she was cognizant enough to consent, when it came to medical procedures and tests beyond taking blood or urine samples, Murphy and Emori usually gave their consent too. If they didn’t think it should be done, it wasn’t. Plus, if Jackson wanted this to be a surprise, that meant that Emori and Murphy had no idea this testing was happening. Jackson was keeping information from them, essentially lying to them. </p><p>Before Clarke could try and communicate with Jackson that she didn’t want to do testing, Natalie inserted a syringe into Clarke’s arm, and five seconds later, she flopped onto the hospital bed, the same paralytic drugs that Russell had used when he body snatched her two years before taking over her body. </p><p>She could only move her eyes but the anxiety she felt from being triggered started to bubble up and she wanted to get away from the medical center. </p><p>She started to whimper up a storm as she saw Jackson getting an IV ready and the only thing she could do was make her whimpers as loud as possible in hopes another physician in the building would come in and save her. </p><p>Jackson ignored Clarke’s whimpers and inserted the IV into her arm as Natalie secured the blonde’s wrists and ankles into restraints after undressing her and putting her in a hospital gown, and Jackson added something into her IV after inserting the needle into her arm.  </p><p>Before she could even wonder what it was, she started to feel extremely heavy, as if she was going to fall asleep at any second. She couldn’t though, and couldn’t understand why. </p><p><em> If Jackson was going to run tests, why is he sedating me? He’s already paralyzed me. </em> She thought, feeling groggy and as if she was in a dream. </p><p>Despite feeling like a sheet of fog was floating through her brain, she tried her hardest to concentrate, because Jackson and Natalie were talking and she was trying to hear what they were saying. </p><p>“Natalie, she’s going to be like this for a while, so I want you to insert this.” He said, pushing a cart with a catheter and collection bag on it. </p><p>“Yes Sir.” She said, doing as told as Jackson left the room. </p><p>Clarke whimpered out again, not because of the catheter, she was paralyzed and couldn’t feel it being inserted, but because another thing involving her body was being controlled and she had no say in it. Her whimpers were pitiful and weak however, due to the strong sedative Jackson was pumping into her blood. </p><p>After inserting the catheter, Natalie put an oxygen and heart rate monitors on Clarke, along with other machines that would monitor her well-being throughout the tests. </p><p>It wasn’t long before Jackson came back into the room with a new cart lined with vials of some sort of medicine, and he looked to Natalie. </p><p>“Is the patient prepped?” He asked, filling a syringe with the liquid from the mystery vile. </p><p>“Yes Sir. All ready to go.” </p><p>“Good. Natalie can you write in Clarke’s chart that we’ll be starting with one vial of Red Sun Toxin, and we’ll take it from there.” </p><p>Natalie nodded and Clarke felt like she was going to throw up. </p><p>The Red Sun Toxin. </p><p>That’s why Jackson gave her a sedative, he was locked in a room with Miller during the first eclipse and was assuming that Clarke would become violent without it. </p><p>What Jackson didn’t know was that when affected by the toxin, Clarke wasn’t violent to others, only to herself. Instead of getting violent urges towards her friends, she had heard her mother call her a disease and she held a knife to her throat, believing she should kill herself. Murphy threatened to shoot her in the leg if she had tried anything. </p><p>Murphy wasn’t here to save her now. </p><p>She started to whimper again, hoping Jackson would come to his senses and actually think that something was wrong, but he only ignored her, walking over to her IV, ready to push the toxin into her bloodstream. </p><p>Clarke knew it would take less time than the first time. Gabriel did this to Octavia and she was affected within seconds. </p><p>The worst part was Clarke couldn’t talk. She couldn’t tell Jackson when the suicidal and depressing thoughts started, and there was no way for him to know, especially with her so sedated. </p><p>She saw him stand over her head, pushing the toxin from the syringe into the IV and Clarke started to count, wanting to know how much freedom she’d get. </p><p>……1…… </p><p>……2…… </p><p>……3…… </p><p>And that’s when the voices started. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! Next chapter might take me a bit longer to write, it's going to be very emotional and heavy, and all in all, let's just say Clarke's going to go on a really bad trip.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Jackson's experiments, Clarke knows what she has to do.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! Sorry this took so long. I rewrote this chapter many times, and I tried to make it as tame as I could for the topic. Earlier drafts were darker and I didn't feel comfortable keeping them when they made me feel bad mentally. I do apologize if this chapter may see bland or underwhelming but this is the direction I wanted to take. There will be one more chapter and an epilogue for this story and hopefully it'll be finished by this time next week.</p>
<p>My Tumblr is malvieswift if anyone one wants to know, and I really hop you like this edition!</p>
<p>Trigger Warnings for this chapter are abusive language, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, along with nonconsensual medical experimentation.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We’re really disappointed in you, kiddo.” Clarke heard, her dad’s voice being the first to speak. </p>
<p>“I told you before, you’re a disease to your people, and it just seems like you keep finding new ways to burden them.” Abby joined in, repeat much of what Clarke heard the first time Red Sun Toxin entered her system. </p>
<p>These words swirled around and around in her head, overwhelming her with her negativity. </p>
<p>“I thought I told you to be better. Ruining your friends’ lives isn’t being better.” Monty’s voice cut in, the disappointment and disgust evident in his tone. </p>
<p>“If only you had listened to me, we’d all be in the City of Light and everything would be perfect.” Jaha said, making his presence known. “Think of all the people you doomed Clarke. Think of all the people you will doom because of your uselessness.” </p>
<p><em> I’m not useless! </em> She thought back, though her thoughts didn’t do much to quell the voices. In fact, it seemed to bring more of them to the forefront. </p>
<p>“You should have joined us at Arkadia Clarke.” Jasper said, referring to the group of people who decided to die in Praimfaya. </p>
<p>“I thought I told you to take care of our son.” Harper snapped. “Now you can’t even take care of yourself.” </p>
<p>What seemed like hundreds of voices started to flood into her system, many from the 100, people she never had time to know, whose names she couldn’t remember. Random Grounders, most she had either killed or those who had died by her hand one way or another. </p>
<p>Other voices spun around, Finn. Lincoln. Luna. All blaming her for every bad thing that has happened since the drop ship landed on the ground. It was unbearable. </p>
<p>Then, two voices came to the forefront, more prominent that the others. When they arrived, Clarke knew Jackson was lessening the toxin, that her twelve-hour long treatment was over. </p>
<p>“Clarke, you’ve done all that you can to save your people.” Lexa said. “You told me that life is about more than just surviving. You’ve done your part. Let your friends live.” </p>
<p>“You know what you have to do Clarke.” Wells spoke next. “After Emori and Murphy bring you home, you know the plan. Just hang on until tomorrow. We’ve been waiting for you.” </p>
<p>After what seemed like years, their voices faded into nothingness and Clarke could feel the paralytic wearing off. She was still sedated but that would take an hour or two until it wore off. </p>
<p>For the past six days, for twelve hours straight, Jackson had been giving Clarke heavy doses of the Red Sun Toxin, hoping something in the poison would trigger the place in her brain that allowed speech, so she could start talking again. Jackson didn’t know that the Red Sun Toxin caused Clarke to have depressing and even suicidal thoughts, and it did absolutely nothing to help her speech patterns. </p>
<p>This however, was the last treatment. The original plan was for Clarke to be talking by now, to surprise Murphy and Emori. Since this plan obviously didn’t work, Clarke wouldn’t be surprised if Jackson never told them about his medical experimentation, since it was done without her or their consent. Still, after almost a week with her thoughts, Clarke knew what she had to do. Once Emori and Murphy brought her home, she had to kill herself. </p>
<p>Everyone was right, she was only burdening her friends, and when it came to Murphy and Emori, she was standing in the way of what they really wanted. A real family. A family she was never meant to be a part of. </p>
<p>It was evening already so after Natalie helped her shower and fed her, she was put to bed, restrained so she wouldn’t try and run away. </p>
<p><em> Just one more day </em> , she thought.  <em> One more day until I’m free </em>. </p>
<p>The next day, a little before lunchtime, Murphy and Emori burst into Clarke’s hospital room, so excited to see her. </p>
<p>“Oh, I missed you!” Emori cheered, giving Clarke a big hug. Since she missed the blonde so much, she didn’t notice Clarke flinch and go a bit rigid in her arms, and she was too happy to notice Clarke’s sullen attitude once the hug broke. </p>
<p>“Did you have fun while we were gone?” Murphy asked, frowning when it was like Clarke didn’t hear him. </p>
<p>“She’s a bit tired, and she refused breakfast.” Jackson said, to try and justify her behavior. “Once she gets home and eats, she should perk up a bit.” </p>
<p>Emori nodded and while Murphy was getting Clarke settled in her wheelchair, she signed the discharge papers that Jackson had given to her. </p>
<p>Once the three got back to the farm house, Clarke’s stubbornness only grew. She refused any and all food put in front of her and even shoved a plate of mashed potatoes on the floor, making a mess. It was clear that she didn’t want anything to eat so Murphy put her in her room for a nap, since the last thing he and Emori wanted was to be stressed out. </p>
<p>It was very concerning to them when Clarke refused dinner, almost throwing her Fettuccini Alfredo on the floor so she wouldn’t have to eat it. She also refused to communicate with them so the two were frustrated, and Murphy put her back in her room and he and Emori didn’t really interact with her for the rest of the night. </p>
<p>Clarke didn’t mind really. This went along with what she wanted. She was planning on waiting for the two to go to bed, so she could sneak out of the house and go to the woods and kill herself. She wanted to do it in the bunker Octavia found her in when Josephine was trying to kill her, so nobody would find her. </p>
<p>It took a few hours but once it was quiet in the house, Clarke got herself out of bed and crawled across the room and down the hall. She was able to scoot down the stairs and even stopped a few times to make sure she could still hear Murphy snoring. She was going as quiet as possible so it wasn’t that hard to sneak past her friends’ bedroom. </p>
<p>Clarke made it out of the house with ease and since it was pretty late, she was able to sneak out of the compound and into the woods near where Gabriel’s tent had once been set up. It took a very long time, since she had to alternate between crawling and scooting, but eventually she made it to the little bunker, shutting herself in just before the sun started to rise. </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Every problem eventually gets resolved with time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! Sorry for the massive delay since last chapter, I went roller skating two weeks ago and broke my arm. It's only a teeny tiny break though and now I am out of the splint so I was able to finish this chapter this morning!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been two days since Clarke left, and nothing went as planned. After she had shut herself into the little bunker area, she was so tired that she just fell asleep. By the time she had woken up again, it was already night outside so she stayed in the bunker and fell asleep again, this time not waking until morning. </p>
<p>When she did wake up, she left the bunker and slowly started to crawl around a bit, not knowing where she was or why she was in the woods. She was fading in and out, and she mostly wanted Murphy and Emori, though she had no idea where they were or how to get back to them. </p>
<p>She was really hungry and thirsty so she crawled around until she found a stream, so she could drink. </p>
<p>After she had her fill, she just sat at the stream, not really knowing what to do. She couldn’t remember why she went to the woods or how she even got there, but she figured that if she stayed in one spot and didn’t move, it’d be easier for Murphy and Emori to find her. Plus, the stream was a water source so she wouldn’t have to worry about dehydration. </p>
<p>She didn’t really have to wait long. Since she had been gone for going on the second day now, Murphy, Emori and the others on Sanctum had started search parties the moment they realized Clarke wasn’t in the farmhouse. </p>
<p>Clarke had only been sitting by the stream for about 25 minutes when she heard Murphy’s frantic voice. </p>
<p>“Clarke! Oh, thank God!” He said, running over and falling to his knees, pulling the blonde into his arms. </p>
<p>“Baby, don’t do that ever again! You scared us half to death.” He gently scolded, picking Clarke up and carrying through the woods, periodically calling out to other members of the search party that she had been found. </p>
<p>The moment they got back to the Sanctum 2 compound, Emori came sprinting over, pressing kisses to Clarke’s cheeks, and checking her over for any injuries. </p>
<p>“We should get her to Jackson.” Octavia said, many people gathering around. “Make sure she’s not hurt in any way.” </p>
<p>At the mention of Jackson’s name, Clarke started to squirm, pushing herself away from Murphy, as if she wanted to be let down. Murphy kept a tight hold on her though, so she started to whimper, before finally letting out some shrieks and screams, causing Murphy to set her down. </p>
<p>She looked around and saw Gabriel standing by Diyoza, looking concerned. </p>
<p><em> Gabriel’s a doctor. He’s safe. There’s no way in hell I’m going back to Jackson </em>. Clarke thought, before whimpering and making grabby hands towards him. If she had to go to a medical center, she’d rather go to Gabriel’s in Sanctum 1. </p>
<p>Luckily, Gabriel picked up on this, and looked at Murphy. </p>
<p>“Did something happen while you guys were on your vacation?” </p>
<p>“Not that we know of, why?” Emori answered, looking confused. </p>
<p>“It seems like Clarke is having a stress response at the prospect of having to see Jackson. Has she had issues with Jackson before?” </p>
<p>“No. She’s been fine with Jackson; I don’t think she’s ever had a problem with him.” Emori said, and everyone looked when they saw Jackson approach the group, with Clarke scooting closer to Gabriel. </p>
<p>“Is everything ok?” He asked, and Gabriel looked to him. </p>
<p>“Jackson, is there anything you might have given Clarke while she stayed at the medical center? Like a medicine or food, or something that she might not be used to?” </p>
<p>“Why? Is everything ok?” </p>
<p>“Well, just look at her.” Gabriel said, motioning to Clarke. She was sitting on the ground and it appeared that she was fading in and out of being frightened, as if she was forgetting why she was scared but knew that she was of something. </p>
<p>“I-I I’m sorry, this is my fault.” He said quietly, realizing that maybe bombarding Clarke’s system with Red Sun Toxin might not have been the best idea. </p>
<p>“How is this your fault?” Murphy asked. </p>
<p>“I wanted to surprise you and Emori when you got back from your camping trip. For twelve hours straight, six days in a row, I gave Clarke doses or Red Sun Toxin to see if it could stimulate a response in her brain and allow her to talk again.” </p>
<p>“You gave her <em> what </em>?” Emori screeched, about ready to rip Jackson’s head off.  </p>
<p>Jackson calmly explained the procedures to everyone, also mentioning that along with the toxin, he used paralytics and sedatives to keep Clarke under control. </p>
<p>By that point, both Emori and Murphy looked ready for murder and Echo stepped forward. </p>
<p>“Is that why she left? The Red Sun Toxin doesn’t affect Clarke like it does us. She doesn’t attack others like how Emori did to Murphy. Clarke experiences depressing and suicidal thoughts. She was alone with her thoughts for six days straight and she wasn’t able to communicate with you what was wrong.” </p>
<p>Gabriel turned to Murphy and Emori then. </p>
<p>“When she got home, did she eat or drink anything?” </p>
<p>“No, she refused to cooperate with us on all fronts.” </p>
<p>“This might seem invasive, but do you know if she urinated or had a bowel movement at any time between her coming home and then leaving?” </p>
<p>“I don’t think so.” Emori said, not remembering Clarke needing the bathroom in the time she was home. </p>
<p>“We have to take her to my lab.” Gabriel said quickly, scooping Clarke up and walking fast to Sanctum 1, with Murphy and Emori hot on his heels. </p>
<p>“Why? What’s wrong?” Murphy asked. </p>
<p>“If she hasn’t been using the restroom normally, she hasn’t had a chance to flush the toxin out of her body, especially through urination. There is a large chance that she still has high levels in her system and too much Red Sun Toxin can contribute to brain deterioration. With Clarke’s brain already fragile after Josephine, this could be bad. We need to get her tested and on dialysis right away.” </p>
<p>After hearing that, the two silently followed Gabriel and went into the Sanctum 1 medical center. </p>
<p>“I’ll need as much space to get her ready as possible, so please wait here until I’m ready for you.” Gabriel instructed, wanting Murphy and Emori to wait in the waiting room. The two didn’t argue with him and he carried Clarke away, to some place in the medical center to begin treatment. </p>
<p>It was a long wait for the two. Gabriel came out to the waiting room and motioned towards them to follow him almost two hours after he whisked Clarke away. Instead of taking them to her however, he steered them into his office to talk. </p>
<p>“Is everything ok with her?” Emori asked, her worry evident. “Can we see her?” </p>
<p>“Well, before I take you to see her, we need to talk.” </p>
<p>“About what?” </p>
<p>“Well, when I tested her, her Red Sun levels skyrocketed. Jackson overloaded her system and she never really had a chance to flush any of the toxin out of her system from her first dose to last. She’s on dialysis and all the toxin will be flushed out of her system but I am afraid of the aftermath.” </p>
<p>“What aftermath?” </p>
<p>“Well, too much of the Red Sun exposure can cause short term memory loss, and in more serious cases, brain deterioration. If my guesses are correct, I believe that Clarke left your house and went into the woods to kill herself, since the toxin causes her to have bad thoughts, but by the time she got to her destination, she forgot what she was planning on doing.” </p>
<p>“But that’s good right? At least she didn’t harm herself.” Emori said, thankful that Clarke was still alive. </p>
<p>“I mean, yes. It is very fortunate that she is still alive, but she’s in rough shape.” </p>
<p>“Rough shape?” Murphy asked. </p>
<p>“It’ll make more sense when you see her, but her body, and more specifically, her brain, has gone through a major shock in the past week. With both rapid introduction to a mix of paralytics, sedatives, and toxins into her system and now us trying to get it out of her, her brain is having a hard time keeping up. There is also a chance that she received further brain deterioration, though we won’t know for sure until the toxin is out of her system and we run some tests.” </p>
<p>“Dr. Santiago, how bad could this be?” Murphy asked, wanting to prepare. </p>
<p>“For the most part, Clarke is independent, like with feeding, bathing, toileting, stuff like that, right?” </p>
<p>“Yes.” Emori said, realizing what Gabriel was starting to get at. </p>
<p>“Well, worst case scenario, it’ll be like bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital. Unlike before, you’ll need to do absolutely everything for her.” </p>
<p>There was a long silence before Murphy spoke again. “Well, if it comes to that, we’ll take it on. Emori’s right, we’re just lucky we found Clarke in the woods and not her body.” </p>
<p>“But remember,” Gabriel said, “She just might need some time to adjust. Her brain’s been through a lot in the past week, so it might take a week or so to get back to how she was before. Just because it doesn’t happen instantly doesn’t mean it won’t happen.” </p>
<p>Both Emori and Murphy nodded, not wanting to lose faith now. </p>
<p>“There is a lot we have left to discuss, but those conversations will have to happen later, they strongly depend on how Clarke’s recovery goes. Now, I am going to take you to her, but I need you to know, she’s in rough shape.” Gabriel reminded them, before getting up and leading the two down a series of corridors before arriving to Clarke’s hospital room. </p>
<p>Before opening the door, Gabriel turned to them. </p>
<p>“Don’t get upset at her if she doesn’t recognize you right away. Her memory is a bit fuzzy right now. She might also act more regressive than you’re used to so don’t say anything.” </p>
<p>Emori and Murphy nodded in understanding, and then Gabriel opened the door, leading them inside. </p>
<p>Clarke was propped up in a hospital bed, tubes from a dialysis machine inserted in her right arm. She looked up when they came in and the moment she locked eyes with Emori, she let out a loud screech and made grabby hands with her left hand, wanting her friend. </p>
<p>“Hi Honey.” Emori said softly, sitting next to the bed, and holding Clarke’s hand. </p>
<p>Clarke giggled, as if she was a bit loopy and kept hold of Emori’s hand. She also kept trying to move around a bit, as if she wanted to get out of bed and hug Emori. </p>
<p>“Someone’s being a cuddle bug.” Emori said gently, leaning over and kissing Clarke’s forehead. “Just relax Sweetie, we can cuddle when you’re better.” </p>
<p>Clarke growled at that and tore her hand away from Emori, as if she had been burned.  </p>
<p>“Don’t be a grump.” Murphy said, going over and kissing Clarke’s forehead. “You can cuddle with Emori later, we don’t want to risk pulling out your tubing.” He explained, hoping Clarke would understand. </p>
<p>She scrunched up her nose in disagreement but for the most part, it seemed like she understood and she didn’t make a big fuss about it. </p>
<p>“So what’s the plan?” Murphy asked, wondering how long Clarke will be in the medical center. </p>
<p>“In a half hour we are going to stop her dialysis treatment so we can do another blood test, to see how her Red Sun levels are, and then we are going to bring lunch for all of you.” He explained. “Then after she eats, I’ll want her to take a brief nap, since she needs rest. Then she’ll do more dialysis until dinner.” </p>
<p>“Is she going to be staying overnight?” </p>
<p>“Yes. She’ll be staying for two nights. One of you can stay overnight with her if you’d like.”  </p>
<p>“How long will you have her on dialysis?” Emori asked. </p>
<p>“Until her blood tests come back with zero Red Sun Toxin in her system. Then we’ll have to do some tests to determine if her cognitive function has gotten worse or stayed the same, or if her brain has deteriorated further than when we removed Josephine.” </p>
<p>Both Emori and Murphy nodded, before Gabriel finished. “You two have some things to discuss, I’ll leave you to spend some time with Clarke and talk. If you need anything, press this red button on the side of her bed, and a nurse will be in to assist you. Other than that, someone will be in to take Clarke off of her machine in a half hour or so.” </p>
<p>“Thank you Gabriel.” Emori said, smiling at him. </p>
<p>After he left, Emori and Murphy sat down to talk and it was decided that in the afternoon, once Clarke was hooked back up to her machine, Murphy would go back to the house and make Clarke’s favorite dinner, and then come back with food and an overnight bag for her and Emori, they’d eat, and then he’d go back to the house, so Emori could help her with her bedtime stuff. </p>
<p>As the day went on, things started to look up. Now that Murphy and Emori were with her, Clarke seemed more comfortable and the longer she was on dialysis, it seemed that she was acting more like herself, less confused and in general, more with it. </p>
<p>The evening was a bit rough, especially after Murphy gave Clarke good night hugs and kisses and left for the night. </p>
<p>It wasn’t really him leaving that made it rough, especially since Emori was going to be spending the night, but then Stella, one of Sanctum 1’s nurses came in to help Clarke get ready for bed. Clarke fought the nurse tooth and nail, wanting Emori to help her, and eventually after a long enough fight, Gabriel came in and allowed Emori to take over, with giving Clarke her shower and changing her into her pajamas. </p>
<p>Once she was tucked into bed those hard feelings were mostly gone, though she did put up a slight fuss when she found out that Emori was going to be sleeping on a cot next to the hospital bed, and not in the bed with her, but Emori wasn’t afraid to put a stop to that bad attitude right away. </p>
<p>“Clarke, you sleep in your own bed at home perfectly fine, you do not need to sleep in the same bed as me tonight.” </p>
<p>“Ehhhhhh.” Clarke whined, making grabby hands. She wanted hugs all night long. </p>
<p>“Oh, I know Baby. It’s unfair but I want you to get a good night's sleep. I promise, once we get back home, you can sleep in the bed with me and John as much as you want, but tonight please don’t fight me.” </p>
<p>Clarke gave Emori big puppy dog eyes and was ready to start crying, very unhappy  </p>
<p>“Clarke……” Emori tried to reason, but once the blonde got started, she was hard to stop. </p>
<p>Tears rolled down the blonde’s cheeks and she started to cry, upset that she couldn’t sleep with Emori. </p>
<p>Emori remembered that Gabriel warned of this, that Clarke may act regressive for a while, so instead of scolding her, she decided it may be for the best to oblige her for the next few days. </p>
<p>“Alright Baby. Ok.” She finally said, getting in the bed next to Clarke. The blonde immediately stopped crying because she was overjoyed that Emori was next to her, and she snuggled against her friend, wanting to be as close as possible. </p>
<p>The next day wasn’t really that eventful. Clarke was on dialysis for the majority of it and couldn’t do much, but Emori and Murphy stayed by her side, every step of the way. On the second night, the two traded places, and it was John who stayed overnight with Clarke. The third day, Gabriel was happy to announce that after two hours of dialysis in the morning, Clarke’s blood didn’t have any more of the toxin in it, so after a few tests and a brain scan, she’d be discharged and able to go home. </p>
<p>The three were sitting in the hospital room, waiting for Gabriel to come back with the results. Clarke was sitting on Murphy’s lap, extremely tired, and Emori was rubbing her back, since it was clear that Clarke wanted contact with her two friends a lot more frequently now. </p>
<p>“Alright. Good news, her tests came back good. She’s very healthy, and there was no physical damage to her body from the toxin and being out in the woods for two days. Her brain scan came back too, and there is no physical deterioration of the brain, but see here,” Gabriel explained, showing Clarke’s scan to the three, “There are still sections of her brain that have been irritated by the toxin, so these sections could have deterioration, but we just need time for the irritation to go away. I want to do a brain scan in two weeks to give her some time to heal.” </p>
<p>The two nodded and John thought this was the end of the appointment but Gabriel then asked an unusual question. </p>
<p>“I’ve been looking through Clarke’s medical files. She is capable of walking and making sounds with her mouth. Has Jackson ever recommended physical therapy and speech therapy to help Clarke?” </p>
<p>“No.......Jackson said there was nothing we could do. That Clarke would be like this forever.” Emori said, extremely confused. </p>
<p>“It appears that Jackson was lying to you.” Gabriel said, not at all surprised at this point. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Murphy asked, getting nervous. </p>
<p>“When Josephine was removed, Clarke needed three weeks to rest and heal. From this chart, it seems like you two followed that protocol rigidly and have been doing a wonderful job since. But what Jackson should have done was get arrangements for Clarke to be in speech therapy and physical therapy. If she had been doing those the past two years, there is a chance she would be walking a lot better by now, farther and longer than she can, and she’d be speaking with a more expanded vocabulary by now. Eh and Muh to refer to you two is all she can do but if she was in speech therapy, there is a chance she could have been using your full names. Technically, Clarke is behind.” </p>
<p>“You said a chance. Would the therapies even work?” </p>
<p>“Well, I mean there is no 100% chance they would, but even if they didn’t. Even if she didn’t walk or talk more, the physical therapy would still be good exercise and make her healthy. The speech therapy would at least help stimulate her brain in a positive way and be healthy that way. Whether the therapies would “work” or not, they still would be beneficial for Clarke and it is very shocking that this has not been brought up to you. Clarke is technically two years behind where she could be.” </p>
<p>“Why do you think Jackson never told us?” </p>
<p>“I mean, I don’t know the full story but I’m guessing that it hurts Jackson to see Clarke, because she reminds him of Abby, so the less advanced Clarke is, the less likely it is that you’ll bring her out of the house frequently and he’d have to engage with her around the compound.” </p>
<p>Murphy only shook his head in disgust, not believing this at all. </p>
<p>“There is one more thing I'd like to bring to your attention. Clarke can read. It was one of the tests we conducted and she is a very good reader. I’ll be giving you this,” Gabriel said, handing Murphy a tablet. “It’s a tablet that our engineers have crafted specifically for Clarke. It has only one function and it has a touch screen keyboard, so Clarke can talk to you. See when you type on the keyboard and hit enter, whatever is typed is said through the speakers. This way Clarke can communicate with you fully, and you won’t have to rely on the hand systems with the yes or no that much. Hopefully this too, will allow Clarke to be more open with you, and not get frustrated because she can’t convey her exact feelings.” </p>
<p>“Oh Gabriel, thank you.” Emori said, near tears. The gift of the tablet was kind beyond words. If Jackson would have told them in the first place, she and Raven could have easily made one for Clarke before their falling out, but the fact that Gabriel automatically took Clarke in as a patient and gave her the utmost care was overwhelming. </p>
<p>Gabriel smiled and took Emori’s hand in his own. “I am a doctor, and I would be failing my oath if I mistreated or omitted treatment plans from a patient or the patient’s caregivers. I know I can’t undo what Jackson did in the past, but Clarke will be my patient now, I do not think she will benefit from Sanctum 2’s medical center. Whenever she needs a checkup or anything, I want her to see me.” </p>
<p>“Of course.” Murphy said. “We’d never take her back to Jackson. He’s lost all of our trust.” </p>
<p>“You won’t be able to take her back to Jackson.” Gabriel informed. “Bellamy, Echo, and Indra have stripped him of his medical license and he will be facing charges. Natalie, the nurse that helped him, will have the same treatment as well. Echo is also spearheading an investigation into the center, to see if there were any other workers in the building that knew of what was going on while Clarke was being mistreated. Any additional people she finds will be taken care of appropriately.” </p>
<p>Both Emori and Murphy looked at Gabriel, flabbergasted. They’ve been so busy with Clarke that they had no idea what was going on behind the scenes in the other compound. It warmed their hearts, to know that their friends cared so much about Clarke, to get her justice. </p>
<p>“That’s about all we can do right now.” Gabriel said, getting up. “In two weeks, we’ll do a brain scan to make sure the irritation is gone, and then depending on those results, we’ll see if speech therapy and physical therapy would be a good thing to take on.” </p>
<p>Murphy nodded and he shook Gabriel’s hand, with Emori doing the same. </p>
<p>“Thank you for fixing me Gabriel.” The tablet said, and everyone turned to Clarke. </p>
<p>“Oh Clarke, you’re very welcome. I’m glad that I was able to help you.” Gabriel said, happy that Clarke was using the tablet. </p>
<p>Clarke smiled and started to type again. When she hit enter, the tablet said, “John and Emori thank you for all you’ve done for me. I love you.” </p>
<p>“Oh Clarke, we love you too.” Emori said, looking like she was about to cry. Even if it wasn’t technically coming from Clarke’s mouth, it still made both Murphy and Emori emotional to hear Clarke say that she loves them. </p>
<p>“Here. This is for the tablet.” Gabriel said, handing a case to Emori. “It has a charging cord, a cloth to clean the screen and a small stand to hold it up so Clarke doesn’t always have to carry it around. Charge it at night, the battery will last all day.” </p>
<p>Thank you, Gabriel.” </p>
<p>“No problem. Nurse Stella will be in with the discharge papers in a few minutes. Once you sign those, you can go home.” </p>
<p>Murphy and Emori gave their final thanks, and when Gabriel left, Murphy packed up the few belongings they had in the room and Emori signed the discharge papers when Stella came into the room. </p>
<p>“Shall we?” Murphy asked, handing the duffle to Emori, before hoisting Clarke into his arms to carry her. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Let’s go home.” </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Expect the epilogue within the next few days or so.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What happens after the three go home, plus a few surprises along the way.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! So, this is the epilogue and final piece of this story. I wanted to thank everyone who read, gave kudos, and commented on this work, your support means the world! Since this is an epilogue it obviously will be short but I hope it provides an ending that everyone can enjoy. Thank you and I hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Five Years Later</span>
  
</p>
<p> <br/><span>A lot has changed for the family in the years since Murphy and Emori brought Clarke back home from the Sanctum 1 medical center. Two weeks after the initial checkup, Clarke healed enough from the Red Sun Toxin that she started speech therapy and physical therapy in the few weeks following. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>She did well, she can now walk long distances around the house, not needing to scoot or crawl anymore. Sometimes John carried her when she was sick but other than that, she was independently mobile. They didn’t even use the wheelchair much anymore, though they did keep it just in case, and used it when Clarke would be outside for long stretches of time, going around the compound.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As great as the physical therapy was for Clarke, the speech therapy didn’t hold the same effect. Gabriel was right in the sense that it stimulated her, and she seemed more alert and aware, more interested in conversations in general, but her specific speech patterns basically stayed the same. It wasn’t that big of a deal though, especially now that Gabriel had gifted her the tablet.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The presence of the tablet strengthened the relationships Clarke not only had with Emori and Murphy, but with all of her other friends in the compound, since she could know hold conversations with others easily.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shortly after Clarke was given the all clear from Gabriel, Echo, Indra, and Bellamy went forward with prosecuting Jackson and Natalie for their wrong doings. There were three other staff members of the medical center that were also convicted, because even if they didn’t partake in the illegal experiments, they still knew of them while they were happening and didn’t do anything to stop it or protect Clarke. Their negligence cost them their jobs and they, along with Jackson and Natalie, were spending time in the jail that was constructed in the compound. Those three had five more years to serve, Natalie had ten more years and Jackson twenty more years before being released and once let out, they were not allowed to practice medicine in any form ever again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The biggest change however, was the size of the Murphy family. Two years after the Red Sun Incident, Emori gave birth to a little girl whom she and Murphy named Aspen Olivia. Aspen was three now, and a proud big sister as well. When she was one and a half, Emori had another little girl, Amaya Grace, and most recently, she and Murphy had twin boys, three-month-old Isaac Thomas and Isaiah William.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was even able to patch things up with her own daughter. Even though Madi still lived with Gaia, the almost twenty-year-old sat down with Clarke a few years prior and the two had a long talk, to explain and apologize, and now they had more of a sisterly relationship with time. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke still wasn’t really able to do much to help the community around the compound, but she still provided assistance in her own way, helping Murphy and Emori take care of their children when the two had to work.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if the circumstances weren’t planned and Clarke’s life wasn’t going how she thought it’d go, she was grateful to have good friends and family to stand by her side and help her through whatever this new adventure brought for her next.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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